You know what I find really annoying? I have this really cute and hot male friend but the problem is….he’s gay. Why do all the hot ones have to be gay, I mean I can tempt him with boobs but vagina no no that’s out of the question.
And another annoying thing, he has the biggest penis of any guy I know, it’s fantastic that he will never fulFIL me like I want him too.
Disclaimer. my “really cute and hot male friend” is shamelessly plugging himself.
I don’t know how old this proactive ad is, or if it’s even legit and not a photoshop job. For the purposes of this blog post, I’m assuming it’s legit. The text, in case you don’t want to click my link says “Got Acne? Ask your boyfriend what to do. Oh, that’s right. You don’t have a boyfriend.”
I’ll let that sink in a bit…
I can’t decide what I like most about this ad. The suggestion that people with acne can’t get a boyfriend, or the outrageous gender assumptions it makes. (Click me for the male oriented version) Not every girl wants a boyfriend. Some girls want a girlfriend. Some girls don’t want to date at all. And there is nothing wrong with any of those options.
Who the hell approved these ads and what the fuck were they thinking?
After I published the most recent post, some final thoughts came to me, so I’m wrapping up rather than bring it back up in a week from now or whatever.
You learn about unhealthy relationships in school, from about 5th grade and up really(albiet a version that usually only includes a heterosexual model where the man is the abuser) and you see it on TV, and you invariably think “How they so be so stupid to keep going back.” “How can they not see the signs? I saw the signs a mile away.”
And then there is rape culture, the idea that says “She must have done something wrong. She deserved it.” It happens, unless you’re a purity princess, it happens. Remember when Chris Brown beat Rhianna, lots and lots of people and blogs were saying the exact same thing about Rhianna (You could argue without too much work that the two thoughts above are all a symptom of rape culture, if you wanted though.) Maybe that’s why I never told anyone at the time, and maybe that’s why I lied to my mother about it when she asked about it last month.
I feel like I had another thought to talk about in this post…but I forget it. So, if I remember it, I’ll post it separately.
Disclaimer: This post might be triggering for anyone with a history of intimate partner violence.
I got dressed this week, went out and ran some errands. It was hot, probably 100 degrees, and muggy. I put on this wrap-ey, strapless flowy shirt I really like in the summer. It’s a shirt I haven’t worn in a little over a year because my toxic ex-boyfriend didn’t think it was appropriate to wear in public (he’s wrong, btw.)
My ex and I had a very intense relationship. We got serious fast. We dated for four months and then lived together for another fourteen as a couple. We also lived together seven mouths post break up, but that’s kind of a different story.
While we were dating, I remember times when we would be fighting and he would shake me to get his point across. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I mean, everyone gets frustrated and it wasn’t like he actually hit me or anything. It’s easier to write off things like that when you’re dating. The occasions of physical violence were far less common than other smaller stuff that should have sent up very big red flags. He’d hide my phone, or attempt to take it with him when he left the apartment to go to class claiming that he wanted to make me less dependent on it. He had a constantly short fuse about pretty much everything and when things went wrong, it was always my fault and he never let me forget about those things.
I’m different, maybe, in that I didn’t end it because of that. I ended it for different reasons. I ended it for the wrong reasons. Clarity for me came really, really slow. In september, I was sitting in a class listening to a lecturer talk about unhealthy relationships, that was the first seed of clarity. The big one was when we were five months post break up, he shook me. We weren’t even dating and he shook me by the shoulders. It was something he had done before, but didn’t phase me one bit while we were dating, but now that we weren’t, it was suddenly not OK. At this point we were tossing the idea back and forth about signing another lease in an apartment together and continuing to live as roommates, and I knew that was a really awful idea in aftermath of that incident( I now live alone. Go me!) Clarity is funny like that. It comes when you need it the most, not too early and hopefully not too late.
A couple weeks ago my mother asked me if he ever hit me out of the blue. I said no, I didn’t lie exactly, he never did hit me, not exactly. I told very few people about this once I realized what was going on and none of those people were my mother. Would it have been better if i had told my mother the truth? Who is to say either way?
Just get out if you’re living what I lived in any way, shape, or form. Get out. There is no reason worth sticking it out. Not a single one.
Read some online dating profiles this morning for shits and giggles and I saw under someones favorite book listed as “I hate reading.”
That is probably the most unsexy thing I ever read on dating profiles. Surely, there is some book you have read and enjoyed in your entire life. One book you can intelligently discuss. Surely.
“If you raise a girl with some confidence and you send her out in the world so she feels like she can do whatever she wants, she’s still going to get her face and her ass fucked but she’s going to do it on her terms. She’s going to grab that dick by the base and go, “I want to suck this right now”. This should be your goal as a father: That your daughter only sucks a dick that she thinks is delicious.”
I wrote about the responsibilities of a dominant here.
I was looking at tumble this weekend and found this picture. I do really like it, and I agree with it. I was thinking about whose responsibility it is to end it a kinky coupledom that isn’t working. Does the responsibility default to the dom, or is only the doms responsibility if for whatever reason can’t take care of their sub? Or are both parties equally responsible to get out when it stops working and not letting it drag out?
I confess that my kinky coupledom with Mr. Dom Man probably stopped working a month ago. We weren’t really dom and sub at the end. It dragged on for the better part of a month because neither of us wanted to man up and say what needed to be said. I ended up ending it. But should that responsibility have fallen on him?
I don’t have an answer, I’m just curious as to your thoughts on the subject.
” As far as the other stuff like cutting, needles, humiliation, and that kind of stuff, I’m probably just as weirded out by those things as you.”
I’d bet really good money, 568 dollars to be exact, that he is far more weirded out than me by cutting, needles, humiliation and that kind of stuff.
On a slightly different note, I almost emailed this guy for shits and giggles, but we aren’t long term compatible and that’s what this guy is looking for.
My dom and I had almost 6 months of d/s-ey goodness. We officially dissolved earlier this evening. It went ok. I’m ok, and I think he’s ok. We just outgrew our relationship.
Kink and Other things 
