Archive for July, 2012

29
Jul
12

Bad fetlife luck.

So, I’m a member of fetlife, and for those of you that don’t know fetlife is a like a kinky version of facebook.  I’ve had two people of interest PM me in the past couple weeks that were interesting.  The first was a local dominant who was looking for a semi-regular playmate, which fit the bill for what I was kind of looking for.  However he sent up some red flags.  First he was very guarded with personal details, more so than I’d expect.  Then he asked if I’d be willing to forgo a condom if we were exclusive because they’re “really inconvenient for some things.”  Why yes.  I’m fully aware condoms are a pain in the ass,  and I hope you’re also fully aware you just lost major points asking me to forgo a condom if we got to the point of exclusivity.  You see, I really prefer thinking in the now and right now we aren’t even getting our kink on, let alone being exclusive.  So let’s address the issue of no longer using condoms when we’re exclusive when we get there, which right about now is looking a whole lot like never.

And the second person is only interesting in that he’s a total dud.  His profile was well written and well done but as we started messaging back and forth he used words like “u”, “yrself,” and “nt” among other text talk.  God, text talk is such an unattractive thing to use.  Text talk is even unattractive while actually texting.  it just makes you look uneducated and lazy.  I don’t want any one I play with or otherwise fuck to be uneducated or lazy.  He also didn’t seem to understand that I can’t knit and type at the same time.
So, I guess I’m back at square one.
PS: I’m working on a totally bad ass knitting project.  It’s going to be a stuffed, cabled, knitted penis that should stand up on its base all by itself!!!!!!!!

 

 

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27
Jul
12

Coming out

I’m a pretty firm believer that you should come out of the closet as whatever you are, on your terms, not on anyone elses.  I was lurking in one of my favorite sexy haunts on the internet tonight and saw someone asking if they knew someone by the names of X or Y and what their usernames might be.  This internet haunt isn’t facebook,  first names aren’t public information.  That is such an invasion of privacy.  I have friends on that site.  I’m facebook friends with some of them,  a few have my phone number, and most of them are on skype or other messengers.  We send birthday cards and gifts to each other and everything- despite where we met, we’re real actual friends.   As real as the girls you get coffee with every Wednesday morning.

You see, if it had been me who someone was asking about.  I’d pray to god that my friends would keep my secret identity, secret.  It’s my decision who I tell about my kinky life and no one else and that’s the way it should be.

27
Jul
12

How being a sub has made me into a better person.

It taught me to pick my battles, because every action has an equal and opposite reaction and that isn’t just a law of physics.  When you push people hard enough, they push back, inside or outside the bedroom.

It taught me how to harness the fiestiness, stubborness, and intensity into something usable, rather than just feistiness, stubborness and intensity.

It taught me how to be a good judge of people.  I’ve always been good at reading people, and being subby just made me that much better at reading potential doms and play partners.

It taught me the art of sexual negotiation(which everyone should know how to do.  Period)  I learned how to ask the right questions.

Two years ago I went though a wild child phase and at some point during this phase, a dom screwed my head on straight.  I didn’t appreciate it for everything that it was then, but now I do.  Kink isn’t just about how you get off.  It has real, redeemable qualities that travel over into your life outside the bedroom.

24
Jul
12

What. The. Actual. Fuck

I don’t know how old this proactive ad is, or if it’s even legit and not a photoshop job.  For the purposes of this blog post, I’m assuming it’s legit.  The text, in case you don’t want to click my link says “Got Acne?  Ask your boyfriend what to do. Oh, that’s right. You don’t have a boyfriend.

I’ll let that sink in a bit…

I can’t decide what I like most about this ad.  The suggestion that people with acne can’t get a boyfriend, or the outrageous gender assumptions it makes. (Click me for the male oriented version)  Not every girl wants a boyfriend.  Some girls want a girlfriend.  Some girls don’t want to date at all.  And there is nothing wrong with any of those options.

Who the hell approved these ads and what the fuck were they thinking?

22
Jul
12

Schtufff

A)  I’m ovulating.  Which means I could orgasm 1000 times and come back for more.

B) My father is going to find out I’m going to the vagina doctor and getting an STI screen done this week.  Two years ago I voted in a poll on facebook about my favorite sex toy manufacturer and my father saw it by snooping on my stepmom’s facebook feed.  He commented about on his facebook.  Something about how his daughter no longer likes barbies or something.  Just please, kill me now.  I’ll give you money.  Lots and lots of money.

C) One of my menstrual cups is missing.  Has anyone seen it?

21
Jul
12

Porn

I love porn.  I watch porn, but I’d probably never be a porn star, I’m not a size 2 for one thing.  But porn has a place, and it’s important to understand all the places it’s place isn’t.  Porn stars are most comparable to musicians like Elton John, or Olympic swimmers like Michael Phelps.  We don’t look at Micheal Phelps and wonder why we can’t swim as well as he does or why we aren’t as strong as he is.  The answer is obvious.  We don’t swim 6-8 hours a day and have a meal plan planned out by the best of the best.  We have jobs, hobbies, and families outside of swimming.

Porn stars are the same way.  They spend 6-8 hours of their day having sex.  They’ve conditioned their bodies to stay wet and hard, no matter what.  Doesn’t matter if they’d rather be home with their families, or if they have the flu.  They’re hard and/or wet.  They condition their bodies to have not only more orgasms, but more animated orgasms.
We don’t look at Elton John, or Micheal Phelps and wonder why we can’t do what they do, and we shouldn’t look at porn stars and wonder why can’t have sex like they do.

13
Jul
12

Child Safety Tip….Maybe

  I’m not a parent.  I don’t have children, but I’ve worked with children a lot and this “tip” just seems paranoid.  It’s a nice idea in theory, but what if you have more than one child?  What if you’re a single parent?  “Take a second, make it a habit and take a picture.”  If you have normal children, making them stand still long enough to take a picture before you enter the amusement park will be an olympic feat.

I’m not saying this is a bad idea, because it isn’t.  It’s just unrealistic.  Besides, if your child is kidnapped from an amusement park, the first thing the abductors will change is your child’s clothing.