Archive for the 'Ranting/rambling' Category

11
Oct
12

Gay Friend

You know what I find really annoying? I have this really cute and hot male friend but the problem is….he’s gay. Why do all the hot ones have to be gay, I mean I can tempt him with boobs but vagina no no that’s out of the question.

And another annoying thing, he has the biggest penis of any guy I know, it’s fantastic that he will never fulFIL me like I want him too.

 

Disclaimer.  my “really cute and hot male friend” is shamelessly plugging himself.

10
Sep
12

Untitled

Dear Carbon Monoxide Meter,

I know your service light is blinking and I really don’t give no fucks.  I’ll report it to maintenance when the office opens in 90 minutes.  In the mean time, shut the fuck up so I can go to sleep.

Love,

Me.

10
Sep
12

Pets

I have pet rats, 5 of them.  I love them to bits and I think they’re fucking perfect.  My bank account corroborates that statement.

I talked to my dad today who wants me to come visit him in a southern state(I live in the Midwest) over winter.  I told him to commit to dates and give them to me so I arrange a pet-sitter. He said “What pets…Oh the rats?  Who cares about pet rats anyway?”

Why me, your kid cares about pets.  I’d say that you raised me, but that’d really be a lie, given that you really just financed the raising of me.  I acknowledge that as my pets, I am responsible for making sure they have the highest quality of life possible and that means pet-sitters when I’m gone, vet visits, healthy food, and lots of toys.

I get that rats, or any rodent aren’t lots of peoples idea of a perfect pet, but please respect that they are pets and deserve to be treated as such.  They aren’t disposable and they aren’t just things I got on a whim.

  • /rant
08
Sep
12

I think the world is ending.

One million moms and I agree on something. Urban Outfitters is a bad influence.  Of course, I think Urban Outiftters is a bad influence for very different reasons than OMM does.  You see, urban outfitters has a really bad track record with GLBT rights and marriage equality. 

God, the world is going to end in no time.

As a related note, I only visit the OMM website to know how which businesses I want to support and what TV shows might be up my alley.

08
Sep
12

untitled

I am the planets messiest person.  I don’t deny it, but you’re welcome to prove me wrong.  When I’m procrastinating, I clean. During finals week, my apartment is fucking spotless.

I spent a reasonable amount of time cleaning my kitchen thoroughly,  20 or 30 minutes and then spent 2 hours being OCD about my kitchen….There are other rooms that happen to need cleaning in my apartment besides my kitchen too…

08
Sep
12

bah

Either the fall I took the other day hurt more than I thought, or the 20 or so miles I’ve put on my bike this week have been working out my abs a whole lot, I don’t know.  But man, I’m rather uncomfortable when I move right now.

07
Sep
12

This pretty well speaks for itself

“Men should be offended when someone claims that women should prevent rape by not going certain places or acting a certain way.

That line of thinking presumes that you are incapable of control.  That you are so base and uncivilized that it takes extraordinary amount of effort for you to walk down the street without raping someone that you require certain dress code to be maintained, that certain behaviors be employed so that maybe today, just maybe, you won’t rape someone.

It presumes that your natural state is rapist.”