Archive for December, 2011


Children and Exes

Fact: Speaking ill about the mother of your children is almost always in bad taste*, and for that matter so is speaking ill about the father of your children.

It is just an unattractive quality for person to possess.  It’s so much bigger than speaking ill about a regular ex, most people don’t have children with a regular ex.  The child(ren) involved will pick up on your views about the other parent, they absorb so much more than you know.  In five or ten years, when they figure out the things you did to undermine the other parent, they won’t or at least they shouldn’t.  As the child of divorced parents, I get it.  I get being angry at your former partner.  I’ve also been the kid that absorbed the hate and the annoyance and the frustration about the other parent.  It sucks being in that position.
For the sake of your children, please grow up.  Please save your bitching for when it matters.  Your exes religious views, parenting style, former in-laws, diet decisions, and financial decisions are petty and irrelevant 90 percent of the time.
*Almost meaning, if there is legitimate abuse you can and should raise hell.  Other than that, just don’t.


Hi and welcome to my blog.  I am a 21, almost 22 year old.  I am the proud pet parent of four female rats.  They sort of rock my world.  I am a community health student at a public university in the midwest, USA.   When I graduate I want to teach sexuality education.  I love where I live.  I love the change of seasons, specifically waking up to snow on Christmas day, and newly sprouting spring flowers.   I love driving a stick shift but hate driving.  I am currently carless, I used to drive a VW TDi bug- but she got totaled.  So now I am car shopping again.

I am a kinky, mostly straight, all submissive female.  I’ve been kinky since I can remember.  I’ve also been submissive in bed as long as I can remember.  I am not a submissive outside of bed though. I’m really into good old-fashioned BDSM, ropes, clamps, wax, mental bondage, orgasm control/forced orgasms.  There are very few things I wouldn’t try in an in person kinky relationship.  These things include permanent, blood play, family + non-kinky friends.  Like most people my hard and soft limits are not fixed and do change over time.

I was in an eighteen-month relationship with a man who turned out to be very toxic for me.  I just recently moved to my own apartment so I can start fresh so to speak.  I am a feminist, pro-choice and identify as a democrat.  I think Michelle Bachman is certified nuts. I am not however, pro-abortion.  I think abortion is potentially tragic no matter when it is done, but I think that all women should have the right to access an abortion locally.  When I grow up I want to have a couple of kids, maybe three, but no more than four.

I love to cook.  I wish I could afford to be a foodie.  I also love to knit. I’ve been a knitter since I was fifteen.  I wish I could sew, maybe one day I’ll have my mother teach me.  When my mother got married, she made her own wedding dress.  Yeah, she’s the shit.  I have the best mom in the world.  She really is both mom and dad all rolled into one though.  I don’t know how she does it.  You do what you have to do I guess.  I hope that should I ever have to assume the role of both mom and dad that I could do it as seamlessly as she has done it all these years.  When I have kids, If I can be 1/10th the parent she is- I’ll call that a win.  I have a very strained relationship with my dad for lots of reasons.

I really enjoy playing scrabble, words with friends(WWF), and soduku.  (You should invite me to play you in WWF.  My WWF username is giggles_mcbug.)   I sort of dominate in scrabble type games.  I have a huge vocabulary in that, I know what that lots of words are words but I have no clue how to use them.

At this point in my life I am irreligious.  I believe that there must be something else out there watching over us.  I also believe that karma is real.  I grew up in the Methodist church, however I attended a Wesleyan and a non-denominational church as well in high school.  I attended a non-denominational Christian ministry in the first two years of college and volunteered 12-15 hours a week at a Christian based ministry for middle school students for 6 months.  I eventually left both organizations because of differences of opinion.  I sort of miss believing whole heartedly about God, Jesus, and the Cross.  It was comforting think that there was something out there looking for the greater good.

I am really pro sex toy.  I ❤ sex toys.  I’m picky about the toys I use and buy though. I only use body safe materials.  Steel, glass, hard plastic, silicone, wood and maybe a few other materials I can’t think of off the top of my head.  I currently own a bullet vibrator made by Rocks Off.  The next toy(s) I buy will be a Hitachi magic wand or similar toy, perhaps the fairy wand.  I also want a glass dildo, preferably a handmade one off of Etsy.  I prefer to support local business as much as possible and big box stores as little as possible.

I like to think I live a fairly green lifestyle.  I use a menstrual cup in place of disposable pads or tampons.  I avoid using paper products in my kitchen and use washcloths over paper towels where I can.  My rat cage is decorated with old fabric scraps and newspaper.  I don’t see a whole lot of point in spending money on rat hammocks and bedding when all they will do is chew and destroy them.  I ride my bike lots of places when I can and take the bus to and from campus.

I believe in the power of voting and think it’s important.  I don’t think the United States system of politics and politicians is perfect, but I do believe that it does good more often than not.  I believe that voting at the local level is ten times more important than voting at the federal level.  If you really want to make a difference in your communities, vote for your mayor, school board and other local level positions.  Disliking the American political system is valid- but in order to change it you really have to work within the system to change it.  You can’t just sit a bitch about how much it sucks; you have to work to change it for the better.

I really firmly believe that sexuality is so much more than whom you sleep with.  It’s how you view sex, other people, different sexual acts, and different sexual acts.  I believe that you are not what turns you on, what you touch yourself to at night, or who you sleep with.  You are so much more than that and people who let them be defined by such things shouldn’t let themselves be defined by such things.  I also believe that what gets you off, gets you off and that’s how it works.  You get what you get.  I think you can learn to appreciate other forms of sexual pleasure.  I think that trying to change your sexuality is sort of a fruitless effort, kind of like trying to make a gay man straight.

I know I’ve been sort of all over the place in this post.  I do plan to blog about the things I touched on in this post. I’ll be more focused in later posts, I promise.  I hope you’ll tune into next time.