Author Archive for Zazel Rodriguez


When there is desire…

“Where there is desire

There is gonna be a flame

Where there is a flame

Someone’s bound to get burned

But just because it burns

Doesn’t mean you’re gonna die”


P!nk- Try


Playing with you is like playing with fire, and honestly it always has been.   We were on fire.  You were on fire.    You were never the safe choice, and for a time, that was good and right for me- and for you to.

But now, I need the safe choice.  The choice that won’t use me up and call it a day and you deserve someone who will be on fire with you.  Someone who can walk through the fire unscathed and that isn’t me anymore.  I’m not walking through fire for you anymore


Fred Phelps died today.  The leader of the Westboro Baptist Church. 

George Takei said it best. 


Today, Mr. Phelps may have learned that God, in fact, hates no one. Vicious and hate-filled as he was, may his soul find the kind of peace through death that was so plainly elusive during his life.





Love comes in all forms.

Sometimes it comes with a ring and a series of promises.  Sometimes it just comes with a commitment, but sometimes it comes with neither.  Sometimes you just take it at face value when it comes and roll with the rest.

I love you. I love how you fit into my life.  I love how I get you unfettered, when I get you.  None of the messy business of life getting in our way.


Read me.

Articles like this are hardly surprising results to any bdsm practitioners, if you asked us, it’s common knowledge.  But when articles like this come out, I get very nervous.  

See, these articles rarely touch on the the steps it takes to reach that point with a kinky partner.  They don’t talk about the safety measures that are taken, or how long it took to build up the trust  to reach that point.  And that’s what makes me nervous, that people will read it, go out and buy a flogger and proceed to try and achieve the same results only to find that not only is it not working, you’ve gone to far with your partner and now need to undo the damage you did while you were trying to get “high.”



Most people, tend to agree that living authentically matters,  but the trouble with living authentically, is that it’s hard.  It’s really hard.

They don’t teach how to live authentically when you’re anyone but the family behind the white picket fence.  When you’re that family, the one behind the white picket fence with 2.5 kids, a dog, and a standard two parent household.  Living authentically for those families( god bless them!) is easy, well comparatively, I’m sure they have their gripes too.   Actually, I know they do.

But for me, not so cut and dry.

I can’t introduce my family to my partners without a serious conversation that I don’t want to have.  If they meet Partner A, and know we’re dating, then at some point in the future they might meet Partner B – my family will ask “What happened to partner A?  When did you break up?”  Being honest means coming out, and being dishonest, while it’s in some ways the easier option, it’s an absolute disservice to my relationship with Partner A.  We didn’t break up.  He still loves me, and I still love him, but I also love Partner B.   I don’t know how to live authentically, well that’s a lie.  I know what it would take.  But I don’t know if I can do what it’d take, or if it’d be worth the trouble.

My family is amazing and they’d love me no matter what,  but do I want to have the conversation about my dating preferences with my family? Would it be worth it?

I wouldn’t change my polyness for anything.  I love dating and living like this.  I love how it fits me and to be honest, I couldn’t imagine doing it any other way and most of the time, I wouldn’t change a thing.  But this, is  a circumstance in which I would change it.



People who believe this, have vastly different ways of thinking than myself and those who think like me.  That is all.

Most people I know, monogamous or polyamorous, take as much of the good as they can get and roll from there.  I don’t know anyone who can honestly say they’re getting so much good from their relationship(s) that they can say that with a straight face.


Ahhh okcupid.



Him:so i see your very sexually open im wanting a fwb situation tonight would you be open for some good fun

Me:well…that isn’t really what I’m looking for

Him:what are you looking ofr

Me:I’m poly, I’m looking for poly people.

Him:well im poly just single right now

Me:your questions say otherwise.

Me:according to your questions you aren’t interested in open relationships.

Him:i am into open relationships, i have never had one yet

Him:so its something i cant say im into i havent triend it , however im open to it

Me:So thats why when you answered “would you consider having an open relationship?” you said “No” and added a comment “see other people, thats ackward”

Him:that was a while back, i kinda got turned on to the idea

Man, I believe him.  Don’t you?  He surely has no reason to lie.