Archive for October, 2012

11
Oct
12

Gay Friend

You know what I find really annoying? I have this really cute and hot male friend but the problem is….he’s gay. Why do all the hot ones have to be gay, I mean I can tempt him with boobs but vagina no no that’s out of the question.

And another annoying thing, he has the biggest penis of any guy I know, it’s fantastic that he will never fulFIL me like I want him too.

 

Disclaimer.  my “really cute and hot male friend” is shamelessly plugging himself.

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09
Oct
12

I’m thinking about dropping out of school.

  It’s been a bad week.

The end.

09
Oct
12

Why I have the best mom in the world.

My mom is the very best mom on the planet.  She reads the student paper for my school every single morning and even though my university has had a massive amount of rapes/sexual assaults/ assaults/whatever reported this semester.  Today mom called me and didn’t tell me to not go out or to avoid walking alone or express other annoying, albeit well placed concern, all she did was tell me to make sure my phone is charged.

I love her.

07
Oct
12

Dear Apartment Maintenance staff,

I’m aware that you don’t think my “emergency” of a blocked, tub, and two kitchen sink drains isn’t actually an emergency, but please be aware that people talk and you’re utter unconcern with my minor emergency is going to speak volumes about the next time I talk about how good your maintenance staff are.

Love,

Me.

01
Oct
12

Now taking applications to fix this…