Posts Tagged ‘Sex


Why is there one person, despite all your good sense can undo all the walls you build?

There is a person in my semi recent past. He was the first guy I loved, let alone liked after I broke up with my ex of 18 months.  We dated for 6 months this summer.  He left to follow opportunities my perfect college town couldn’t give him.  I’m incredibly happy for him.  Judging by his facebook posts, it’s a wonderful experience for him.

He’s a fire hazard, and he comes with smoke trailing behind him and I know it.  And everyone around me can see the smoke.  He’s back for Christmas, and I suspect he wants to see me again.

I don’t know if I’ll see him or not.  He’s bundled around all these intense emotions and while they were all worth it for our time together this summer. I don’t know if they’d be worth it for one, two nights max of marathon sex.

I have good sense, and boundries, and walls, and he can break them all down and doesn’t even know it.


Random sex thoughts

I remember one of the earliest lessons I learned about sex was that anyone who breaks up with you because you won’t have sex is a douchebag.  This is usually applied to middle school and high school age kids and almost never college kids and older.

I don’t like this notion.  I think it probably stems from slut shaming, because in this scenario when the sexually active partner never wins.  They’re always the bad guy and I don’t think that’s fair, per se, and we almost never hear the full story.  “they broke up with me because I wouldn’t put out” is where the conversation tends to stop.  We don’t know what kinds of conversations did or didn’t happen.  We don’t know if it was outlined what each persons needs were, and often we don’t ask.  We just side with the person who chose not to have the sex and we rarely ask the questions to determine what actually happened. ( That said, I’m not sure we should.  If my girlfriend is bitching about how some guy dumped her because she wouldn’t have sex with him, it’s pretty clear she isn’t so much looking for advice and more looking for a friendly ear to hear her rant.)  I suspect it’s because we’re so trained to think that good girls(and boys) save sex for marriage and bad boys and girls don’t.

While I dislike this notion, I think it has shades of accuracy in some age groups.  Particularly high school.  I don’t know if the shades of accuracy justify how frequently this is taught, though.

I think relationships and sex come down to compatibility and communication.  Equal parts of both.  You, as a sexually active person, need to communicate what you need out of a relationship early on, in and out of bed.  If your potential partner can’t or doesn’t want to meet those needs, they’re responsible to say that so no one wastes anyones time.

Is it different when a 15 year old is dumped because she wouldn’t have sex, compared to a 25 year old in a similar situation?  Is the 25 year old somehow more or less responsible for the relationship not working than a 15 year old?

(Oh and if anyone has a better title for this post, I’m totally open to suggestions!)


Now taking applications to fix this…


Random thought of the day!

What the hell do people that make most of their money from online sex work(cam girls, phone sex, ect) put on their taxes?  Now, I know that people who make most of their money through these revenues are pretty far and few between, but they do exist.  So how do they justify their earnings, assuming they aren’t blatantly honest about it?



I just had an orgasm that made my abs hurt.  Unf.  Be jealous.


Why Dating Sucks

I went on a date last night.  Before the date, I spent 20 minutes doing my no make up face, which uses about 6840968450684 products(compared to the not no make up look which uses about 10 products!)  I picked a small purse that only has room for my keys, wallet, cell phone and chapstick and I did all of these things because I wanted to seem low maintenance.

I’m not low maintenance. I’m not really high maintenance either, but I’m not lower maintenance than anyone else.  You see, I normally carry a purse that is big enough to fit menstrual cup, my phone, my keys, a camera, contact solution, face powder, blotting papers, no less than three different lipsticks, my wallet, my ipod, cords to charge my iPod and cell phone, socks, a knitting project, sometimes spare underwear and a vibrator.  In other words, it’s big enough to fit a small third world country.  Now, how would carrying all that look on a first date?

Funny story:  When he dropped me off, I introduced him to a rat and had to be very careful to not let him in because there are literally sex toys in every single room of my apartment right now…



I really want this on a t-shirt.  I’d wear it everywhere.