Posts Tagged ‘dominants



I’d never describe myself as naturally obedient.  Being subby comes naturally, to me, being obedient isn’t natural.  I’m a little ADD, and my hands are pretty much always playing with something.  In class, they’re drawing 3-d boxes, unless the rare occasion that I actually takes notes occurs.  My brain moves a million miles an hour, and I’m no good at making it stop.  I’m strong, witty, feisty and rather opinionated, and unfortunately for me, it’s really easy for that stuff to get in my way of submitting.

And maybe that’s why being subby is so rewarding for me, because in order for me to really fall into it, it’s an exercise in letting go.  It’s an exercise in trust and it balances me out a little lot.




This guy makes …

This guy makes me miss being owned so. damn. much. 


Responsibilities of a Dominant Continued

I wrote about the responsibilities of a dominant here.

I was looking at tumble this weekend and found this picture.  I do really like it, and I agree with it.  I was thinking about whose responsibility it is to end it a kinky coupledom that isn’t working.  Does the responsibility default to the dom, or is only the doms responsibility if for whatever reason can’t take care of their sub?  Or are both parties equally responsible to get out when it stops working and not letting it drag out?

I confess that my kinky coupledom with Mr. Dom Man probably stopped working a month ago.  We weren’t really dom and sub at the end.  It dragged on for the better part of a month because neither of us wanted to man up and say what needed to be said.  I ended up ending it.   But should that responsibility have fallen on him?

I don’t have an answer, I’m just curious as to your thoughts on the subject.


I am no longer owned

My dom and I had almost 6 months of d/s-ey goodness. We officially dissolved earlier this evening. It went ok.  I’m ok, and I think he’s ok.  We just outgrew our relationship.



Be the master of my own domain.

Be the master of my own domain.

Heh. master. Heh. master. Color Me Kinky.


Submissives Bill of Rights (Stolen from Tumblr)

You have the right to be treated with respect. Not only do you have this right, you have the right to demand it.

As a submissive you are not less than any other human being and you bring something special to a relationship. A dominant needs your submission in order to be able to play or interact in a D/s relationship. You have the right to be treated with the respect for that special trait of submission you possess. As a slave you also deserve respect, but it would be seen as a privilege if and when your owner decides to give you the respect for your submission at any stage. You have no right to demand it in that circumstance.

You have the right to be proud of what you are.

As a submissive or slave you have the right and the duty to be proud of who you are. You need never feel shame for this ever again and should never allow anyone to diminish who or what you are.

You have the right to feel safe.

You have this right irrespective or whether you are submissive or slave. You have the choice as a slave to choose someone who will make you feel safe as this is your sole choice and you need never be in a position where fear is all you know. If you are, this means you have no one to blame but yourself for not choosing the right dominant and for not leaving when you find that this is his or her style of dominance. If you are in a position where you are being held against your will, you need to find a way of escape or indicating distress at the first available opportunity.

You have the right to your emotions and feelings.

As a submissive you have a right to your own feelings and to express them. It does not matter whether they are positive or negative, they need to be discussed whenever they happen for you. Submission does not work in the absence of communication. As a slave you have no right to withhold this from your master or mistress. That person cannot control your life and make good decisions that will not harm you if you do not share the feelings you are feeling.

You have the right to say NO.

We should change this to: You have the right to use a safe word. No never means that a dominant or master will stop anything – remember we tell them to ignore us when we use that word? It is your responsibility to make sure that you do not do anything you do not want to. Slaves should discuss negative feelings or experiences with something with their master or mistress in a respectful way. The idea is not to be harmed, but to communicate openly. Slaves also need to make sure that activities they do no enjoy are not part of a respective master’s kinks so that this does not happen frequently.

You have the right to expect happiness in life.

Remember that you chose this lifestyle because you weren’t happy with people who did not know how to handle your submission? Remember that you discovered great joy when you found out that you are not just needy or codependent? You have the right to enjoy this lifestyle and feel all the joy you are getting. It took guts to admit your submission and you are allowed to pick the fruits of honesty.

You have the right to have input in a relationship.

You have the right to communicate openly and honestly and to have say in any relationship – a relationship by definition is a two way street and should never be one sided. You need to make sure that you make your needs known and that you make sure that you are always present in the relationship. Slaves also have this right but they exercise the right when they choose a dominant or master or mistress. Your needs, desires and wants should be discussed in detail before any collar is placed around your neck.

You have the right to belong.

As a submissive you finally can exercise this right. You are now in a family of people who feel the same way you do and who understand who and what you are. You will belong to that special dominant soon or may already belong to someone. Slaves and submissives alike both have that right.

You have the right to be loved and to love.

You have the right to be loved for your submission and to love the person who will control your life and use you to serve them. Love is something that happens in most D/srelationships contrary to what you might have heard. Love also makes you submission bloom. Remember that slaves sometimes have different ideas of what love looks like. They might want someone who humiliates and hurts them and does objectify them. To them that might show love. Never look down on what others perceive as love and celebrate the differences.

You have the right to be healthy.

I would love to change this to you have a duty to be healthy. Health is a requirement for slaves and this is not negotiable. You have to make sure that you are in a healthy relationship and that you do not get abused. If you are, the entire community will rally to your aid should you request it.

You have the right to practice safe sex.

This is really self evident or it should be. You have a right to remain healthy, but you also have a responsibility to ensure that any sexual partners you may come into contact with can trust you to be responsible sexually and to not be the carrier of a nasty sexually transmitted disease.


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