25
Nov
13

My secondary.

I wrote earlier about my secondary and how much I love them and I’ve just been thinking a lot about them recently and I think that our arrangement might be…strange, even for people in our lifestyle.  I’ve been seeing my secondary since April, almost 8 months.  Jesus christ.  Welp, here is to us.  He is my current longest running sexual partner and I’m like 95% sure I’m his.

He’s important to me, and one of the things about him is that he’s really good at reading people, like scary good.  If he says something isn’t right, something isn’t right.  What I was thinking about was, when/if he meets potential primary partners of mine, if he were to pull me aside and tell me that he wasn’t right for any reason, I’d say OK and my relationship with this potential primary would almost certainly be over.

Because for Captain to tell me this means that he is 110% sure that this guy has something fundamentally, imminently wrong with him and he is bad, bad news.  This information would not be shared lightly.  So when I was pondering if it was weird or not that my secondary has so much power over my primary and it might be weird in the big picture polyamory, I don’t think it’s weird for Captain and I.  Because like The Captain, I’m also scary good at reading people and know that if it came to telling him that I was concerned about one of his new relationships, he’d listen and he’d appreciate what I was saying and go from there. 

Weird or not, we are us and we’ll keep being us until it stops working.

 

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