Why Importance on Virginity is Bad for People

Virginity-The state of a person who has never engaged in sexual intercourse, typically penis- vagina sex.

America and other parts of the world have an obsession with virginity and it’s toxic.  Religions put undue importance on chastity until marriage.

There is this concept called the commodity model of sex.  The commodity model of sex says that sex is a commodity. Social scripts say that boys pursue sex and that girls don’t have it.  Feminists argue (and I tend to agree with them) that Judea-Christianity teaches that women hold onto their virginity until a man worth having puts a big diamond ring on their finger and they trade their virginity for a diamond ring that symbolizes ownership, protection, and financial well being.

So much importance is put on virginity.  Virginity is good and prized, therefore virgins are prized and non-virgins are not prized. This creates a number of problems.  The first problem is that this says that non virgins are not as valuable.  It says that women who have sex are not as valuable, prized, or worthwhile as women who don’t have sex.  Does this offend you?  Because if it doesn’t offend you, go get your head screwed on right.  This creates two “classes” of women virgins, and non-virgins.  Having different classes of people gives people in the higher class privilege to treat the lower class like shit and get away with it.

The second problem with this is that virgins and non-virgins worth is based on something that is or isn’t.  You can’t learn virginity or non-virginity. It isn’t like being valued because you’re funny, smart, or because you can do that really cool thing with your hands that no one else can do.  It isn’t like being respected for playing the guitar or piano really well.  Wouldn’t you rather be respected because of something you earn and work towards rather than something you are or aren’t?

The third big problem is that an idea like this leaves everyone who isn’t a heterosexual monogamous couple out in the cold. Because virginity is typically defined as penis in vagina sex, people who any kind of sex that isn’t penis in vagina sex aren’t included.  Are you still a virgin if you have oral sex?  anal sex? Finger sex?  Sex toy sex?  Virginity is not something you can give a one size fits all definition to and when people try to give such a definition to virginity you inevitably leave some groups of people out.  

I don’t think virginity is any more special than sex.  I think you should have sex responsibly in a manner that both makes you happy and is pleasurable for you and your partner.  I think virginity makes a person special in the same way anyone who has ever been a virgin is special.

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